Divine Vanity

It’s been a while. A month and a half since I was last on tumblr. Although I’d like to say that things have changed and a lot has happened, I can’t.  Things are the same and nothing has happened which is why I’ve been so reluctant to write anything.

It’s only five days until my nineteenth and in Ontario, that just means the ritual of throwing out your fake ID and not having to pretend you’re someone else - which was half the fun wasn’t it?  Being under-aged you could go into the bar and have an extra feeling of badass-ness just because you beat the system.  Of course with the coming of age, comes the coming of guarantees.  You no longer have to worry about the possibility of not getting into the bar and therefore having to find a solo way home. It’s also a convienence thing: you don’t have to stock up from your ‘source’ in advance because you don’t know when your going to need alcohol and you no longer need to urgently speed-dial your brother at night in your pathetic begging voice.

Whether you Louis-Vuitton-it-up or Reebok-it

Well I’m officially done my first year of university and I have returned to my home town with several realizations from the past school year:

1. No matter how many people tell you that ‘you’ve witnessed a historical moment’, your university going on strike sucks ass and two months off school leaves you will nothing but bitter feelings, loss of money, and lack of motivation - not to mention the absence of a job!! And in the middle of an economic recession? Really? Really?
2. The freshman fifteen is the real deal!  Yeah a burger does taste better then a salad but the salad anatomically looks better then the burger.  If you have the option to NOT get a mealcard, take that as a blessing and run.
3. Your roommate having sex while you are trying to sleep cannot be psychologically removed by telling yourself that it didn’t happen and will only leave you with emotional scarring.
4. If you have a fake ID, memorize what is written on it.  When you looking nothing like ‘that girl’ with your naturally curly hair, saying you just got a perm is ingenious thinking when you’re intoxicated, but having to ‘prove’ that is it you can be difficult if you don’t know the information on the card.
5. Don’t go to university unless you are of drinking age or have a fake because it’s a social road block.
6. Moving away from your family doesn’t make the reunions any more bearable.
7. One those trips home, be sure to pack economically as the hour subway ride and the 20 minute walk to the bus station will remind you just how heavy those bags are.  Moreover, do NOT get a coffee/cappuccino/tea/hot chocolate before boarding the city bus to the subway.  This is for two reasons: A. it leaves you with only one free hand to hold onto the hand railings and that isn’t enough to maintain a elegant stance during the painful and life-threatening two-wheel turns of the bus around the corners.  B. unless it has a thick sleeve/java jacket or this meant-to-be-served-hot drink is room temperature, you just may burn feeling out of your fingers leading you to spill this scalding hot liquid on yourself… or others…
8. Engage in as many social activities as possible during the first few weeks so you have more then 2 friends… or at least excuse to leave your room.
9. The library can be very intimidating but you must learn to conquer that fear for only then will you succeed in scholarly tasks. Same goes for the gym to bypass Realization #2.
10. High school teachers don’t teach you shit.
11. The best pastimes involves the links to watchtvsitcoms, surfthechannel, megavideo, and watch-movies-links.
12. The overuse of coffee will leave you with nothing but a bad after taste.
13. There is no difference between university boys and high school boys.  They do not mature with age.  The difference lies with girls: university girls - after some time - realize this consistancy and accept it.

The Ingenuity of Annie Leibovitz

O la la, mon cousin est un auteur professionel et fabuleux!!

http://www.womenspost.ca/blogs/burlesque-city

“If this page becomes unavailable, it is because womenspost is… RIDICULOUS?!”

see here: http://pinkcrush.tumblr.com/post/113861790/burlesque-the-city

Shut up and put your money where your mouth is That's what you get for waking up in my cottage

Wouldn’t it be great to have friends like them? People you could rely on to do things you ask them to?  Like stalk psycho ex-friends, threaten people who stole from you, and sabotage your ex’s new love interest.  Sure there’s lot of secrets, a few lies here and there, and a touch of scandal, but that evens out.

To add onto the list of ‘first’ for this past weekend, was the first party of the summer.  Now there is a technicality with saying that because unlike everyone else, my summer doesn’t exactly start for another week.  Nonetheless, I put aside my own dwellings for the need of others and that need was a party at my cottage for the birthday of the Queen B, Victoria, i.e. the big May 2-4.  Normally I don’t engage in hostility and I must say that I am actually not a bad person, but the previous weekend’s events lead me to a familiar state of bitterness that I thought I had moved away from.

I’ll have to quickly fill in the blanks here with a explanation of last summer’s parties which included a few too many drinks, far too many spills, and heaping mess to clean up in the morning.  I don’t mind cleaning up my parties by myself but when people stay over at a location that is an hour away from civil life, I expect a humanistic response in the form of a collective cleaning committee.  However, that’s not the case with my so-called friends.  Sure the girls are helpful, they tidy, some sweep.  But it’s always me left running around cleaning the vomit left on the toilet seat or the cigarette buds on the porch.  It’s me washing the dishes, the spilt beer and the bar that reeks of tequila. It’s me with the broom and dust pan and mop bucket and vacuum, armoured only by an old pair of yellow rubber gloves.

So for this May 2-4 I sent out invites over facebook with specific instructions that everyone who comes ‘is expected to clean up in the morning…unlike last time’ (word 4 word).  And what do I wake up to?  The same bunch of nomads sitting in the living room, chatting and doing nothing {although I also instructed them to bring breakfast food for a mass brunch in the morning, which somehow also became illegible, they did have the energy to sit around whining because - after raiding my cupboards - they couldn’t find anything else to devour}.  Then there’s me, up since 5am with the same sleep deprivation and hang over as everyone else.  But instead, I’m running around with the armour gloves, cleaning the floors, the table tops, the bar, the ceilings and walls.  I get the vacuum out and clean the carpets in the rec room downstairs so that the people sleeping in the same room will wake up.  I make smart remarks for everyone to hear such as “well I’m glad I have help or this would take forever by myself”.  It takes a total of 2 hours (that 7am) before a single person notices and decides to help.

So my reasoning for believing that the characters of “Gossip Girl” (2007) would make better friends then my own is that, despite their mass-scale problems, they are Manhattan’s elite and they have maids to clean up after a long night of partying.

If we don't communicate, we'll exist in our own space...

As I mentioned in a previous post, I gave Vicky, Christina, Barcelona a second chance and was left with a better acceptance of the piece.  Since that viewing a few weeks ago, I have been left with a yearning for an Allen film.  I stumbled across a ‘preview’ (which was less then helpful.  It was, however, interesting to note that Larry David (creator of Seinfeld) will be ACTING in it.

The film that I can’t wait to see is  My Sister’s Keeper (2009). Although I am disappointed that Cameron Diaz didn’t pull a Demi Moore in G.I. Jane (1997) and shave her head, I am thoroughly looking forward to seeing how Nick Cassavetes will ‘Notebook’ this film.  Speaking of Demi Moore, watching G.I. Jane and A Few Good Men (1992), didn’t so much make me want to shave my head or join the military, but it did remind me of how much of a chameleon-actress she is.  Go  Madison Lee.  Apparently she directed a short in 2008 called Streak which starred her daughter, Rumer Willis and Brittany Snow.  Never heard of it and I don’t think anyone’s seen it.

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What I could really go for right now thought, is some good ‘ole Toy Story.

Trains, Waitressing, and Banana Milkshakes

This weekend was the weekend had many firsts.  It was my first train ride not just from T.O. in general but ever!  The little 2hour adventure reminded me how much I like traveling and in particular, flying.  I just love air plane rides.  I don’t know what appeals to me, but the whole thing is just… fun.

I also had my first waitressing job.  I have no experience in the field but it was very interesting and, well i wouldn’t say fun, but it was entertaining and not in the least bored.  I learned the binary between those nice folks and those bitches.  As I was cleaning one table, these guys were talking about how they had jut finished telling the bartender that they were wedding crashers. One guy turned to me and said, “You’re doing such a great job.” I smiled and said thanks to which his friend added “that’s his pickup line.” I’ll take what I can get.  The job wasn’t stressful but it was painful.  I have years of experience dancing in tights but wearing those tights for 5 hours - those same tights from three years ago - they become quite uncomfortable quite quickly. Note to self, buy a pair of panty hose that fit. What was even more uncomfortable was the shoes.  OOoooh the shoes.  Once again, I do have experience in wearing flats but since my roommate broke my one pair of black flats and my others stink like a boy’s hockey bag, I needed to do some last minute shoe shopping. Unfortunately I did this after my last class and before I had to take the train allotting me a total of 02h00. Well Eaton Centre you do suck.  Apparently finding black flats in size 9 1/2 is impossible so I went with black, narrow, size 9 flats. Note to self, never again! P.S. throw out evil black flats and buy new, comfortable ones.

Now with my pancake blister souvenirs from work, I treated myself to a Banana Milkshake when I got home.  Nothing beats them.

I watched my first and only episode “Prison Break”.  Apparently it was also my last as it was the show finale…??  I didn’t know it at the time but the ending was pretty conclusive.  If you do have the chance to watch your very first episode of a show, don’t ever watch the very last one.  Just don’t.  Wentworth Miller is another UK hottie who plays an American and I’m hesitant to hear his with his native tongue in case it turns out to be another Ed Westwick/Rob Pattinton mishap.